Woman rebel in polygamy sect stands firm, declares her rights
 
By Mark Thiessen
The Associated Press
 
HILDALE, Utah (AP) --Pam Black was emancipated on July 3, 1998, the day she was ordered to leave town by the polygamist leaders who had tried and failed to rule her life.

Her husband of 31 years, Martin Black, left with her. He turned over the keys of the their home to the landlords, the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, and moved the family to the outskirts of town.

There, they lived in a trailer home sitting on family-owned land he kept in a trust -- never heeding the church requirement that all men give turn over their land. They watched Fourth of July fireworks together, "and we were so free. It was the most beautiful thing in the world."

Now, five years later, Pam Black, 52, is about to become an even bigger thorn in the side of the strict patriarchal hierarchy of the FLDS church, which considers women and children as its property.

She is about to become one of the few -- if not only -- female landowners in the twin border towns of Hildale and Colorado City, Ariz., where about 10,000 church members make up the nation's largest polygamist enclave.

Breaking away from the church could not save their marriage. Martin, 62, died last August, a week before their divorce became final. The 31/2 acres remained in a trust for their 14 children, and the two oldest boys are now turning it over to their mother, who lives in one trailer with her five remaining children at home.

Black -- now the family matriarch -- says holding the deed in her hand will not only be her proudest moment, it will be her bold statement to church leaders, on behalf of all the women in town.

"We do have rights," she declared.

The executive director of a leading anti-polygamy group said many women who walk away from these communities do it only with the clothes on their backs.

"This will set a precedent for families who want to be homeowners, especially women," Vicky Prunty of Salt Lake City said. She called Black "very fortunate. That doesn't happen at all."

Being on the outs with church leaders is a comfortable position for Black, whose marriage was arranged when she was 16 and he 26.

"We didn't get a honeymoon of our own," she said. "He was too busy worrying about looking for his second wife."

FLDS men are taught that they must have at least three wives "before he can relax and knows he can get into the celestial kingdom," she said.

Martin Black didn't get the two other wives, partially because of Pam's jealousy and partially because of her antics.

Church leaders arrange marriages for sect members. Martin would not be given another bride until he could make himself worthy by making his first wife submissive and his children obedient, she said.

But the children often refused to mind their father and attend church priesthood meetings. Only one of the 14 children remain in the church. And Pam's behavior -- in church leaders' eyes -- was worse.

She held Tupperware parties, where she learned about bank accounts and money, both taboos for women. She read books, and even attended self-improvement classes.

She was often called before the church president, the late Rulon Jeffs.

"I would have to go and sit there and have this prophet tell me that I have to submit," she said. "He wasn't mean, he didn't yell at me. He actually put the blame on Martin."

"They didn't know how hard it was to live with me because I wasn't going to let anyone walk on me," she said.

After meeting outsiders -- self-described "recovering Mormons" -- her world broadened further. She began reading self-help books and participate in discussions "on the deeper meaning of life."

But the marriage remained rocky. In the summer of 1998, she says she reached her breaking point. She started a fight with her husband, and he called his church bishop. A church-appointed counselor got involved, but only talked to her husband. She called the counselor and told him off.

"That was it. They told me to leave, and I was ready to go," she said.

Even though Martin left with her, the marriage was doomed.

"We loved each other, but my husband still wanted to control who I was," she said. "I chose to get a divorce. It was best."

Now free to live her life as she pleases, Black is writing a book and looking to the future.

"I've made so much progress in my life," she said. "I don't know what's going to happen, but I'm just excited about it all."
 
The Associated Press
Originally published January 23, 2004
 
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