Family Biz
 HBO’s Big Love and The Sopranos close for the season; Utah and New Jersey can relax.
 
By Bill Frost
Salt Lake City Weekly
 
Utah has weathered the greatest threat to Our Way of Life this side of flood, famine and fluoride—Super Big Gulps for everyone! Just send the bill to Gov. Jon Huntsman Jr.

He’s the one who dismissed Big Love (HBO; season finale Sunday, June 4) as "pointless" after viewing a single episode, reassuring citizens that the Utah-set series about a suburban polygamist and his three wives would have no negative impact on the state’s image. Then again, this was at the same press conference wherein he praised Utah’s new state slogan, "Life Elevated," as "awesome," so who knows what’s going on inside that perfectly square Rock ’Em Sock ’Em Robot head of his.

Huntsman does at least deserve some credit for actually watching an episode of the show, unlike the Morally Outraged Pinheads who launched a Cancel That Smut! e-mail campaign in April without ever having seen so much as a glimpse of Bill Paxton’s ubiquitous bare ass ... that white, magnificent beacon of purity and light ...

But I digress: The MOPs who were so worried that Big Love would perpetuate the myth that the LDS Church still preaches polygamy, even though Paxton’s Henrickson tri-family are clearly portrayed as secretive outsiders living in fear of being exposed to authorities and their church-goin’ Sandy neighbors, failed as expected. Much as they don’t really listen to those who don’t subscribe to their beliefs, HBO doesn’t really listen to those who don’t subscribe to, well, HBO. Season 2 comin’ at ya in 2007, MOPs — get those form e-mails ready!

As for the end of Season 1 this Sunday, expect little resolution (plot storage for next year — did I mention Big Love has been renewed, protestors?), more comedy than usual (if you call antifreeze cocktails comedy ... I know I do), and a potentially show-shifting bombshell (the Henricksons’ ultimate fear finally comes to pass, and it ain’t No. 2 Wife Nicki performing a full-on gangsta beat-down on some missionaries at her doorstep … which I would also qualify as comedy). And if you’re irked that HBO’s Utahns pronounce the name of our neighbor state to the west as "Nev-ahh-duh" instead of the correct "Nev-aaa-duh," start an e-mail campaign — those always get results.

It’s this simple: Big Love isn’t about polygamy; it’s about family and relationships. Just as The Sopranos (half-season finale Sunday, June 4) isn’t about the Mafia; it’s about family and said family getting f**kin’ killed vis-à-vis their f**kin’ transgressions against this other f**kin’ family over f**kin’ here — understand, ya f**k? (By the way, Deadwood will be back next week for you profanity connoisseurs who prefer frillier compound wordplay.)

This season of The Sopranos — which will conclude for good in January - February of next year — has been slower and yet more intense, not to mention gayer and yet more testosterone-filled, than any previous. The end is near, everything’s circling the drain, and it’s far from certain who’s going to get out this series alive ... if anyone. Hell, I thought Gay Vito would at least make it to 2007 before he got whacked and shish-kebabbed with a pool cue (!), but it does set up another future-episode theory nicely: Vito’s New Hampshire fling Johnny Cakes riding his hog into New Jersey to avenge his dead lover in a faaabulous blaze of glory and mustache wax.

Now that he’s gotten over his fidelity bug with a Bada Bing! stripper, will Tony finally seal that deal with Julianna Margulies? When are we getting back to Christopher’s spec movie, "Saw meets Godfather II"? Will Meadow, who ran out of storyline about two seasons ago, just leave already? Can A.J. man-up and take out Uncle Junior? Will my "Adriana is still alive" prediction come true? These and a few hundred other questions are left to be answered in Sunday’s episode and The Final 8 next year—shockingly enough, "What does the governor of New Jersey think?" isn’t among them.
 
slweekly.com
Originally published June 1, 2006
 
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